Give it a try, shall you? I dare you to “affirm” this, for 60 days, every morning. I promise, that if you put your heart into it, you will feel smarter, more confident, more patient, fearless, and more in control than you ever have.
Remember, what you tell yourself “you are…” is precisely who you become.
Affirmations for YOU:
I am smart.
I am confident.
I am not only patient with others, but patient with myself.
I am unafraid.
I am the master of my thoughts, I decide what I dwell on. I decide how I feel.
I am disciplined. I am poised.
Why stop with you? If these things build you up, you can betcha bottom dollar they will build your children up. Insert positive phrases into their head. Tell them what they are, and make them believe.
Affirmations for your CHILDREN:
You are smart.
You are confident.
You are special.
You are important.
You are unafraid.
You are loved.
You are beautiful.
You are extraordinary.
Give it a try. Build yourself up, and then once you understand the power behind it, build up your children.
The truth is, is that somebody…. ( everybody) is going to do the same thing to your children. They are going to tell your child, who they are, what they are capable of, and where they belong in this world. Some will say it bluntly, others will place it in front of them passively. Either way, ensure that you plant seeds inside their head first— the right seeds. Seeds, of great, beautiful things.
I remember, not too long ago, hearing a quote similar to “be as a child,” or “see like a child.” All I know, is that it did not go as “act like a child.” Regardless, the quote was of sincerity and wisdom. Immediately, I imagined the world throwing temper tantrums, kicking and screaming along the aisles in the grocery store and walking around with headless Barbie dolls- weird. Of course, at the time my three year old was demonstrating her authority, so anything “child-like” inevitably implanted a bitter taste in my mouth. However, after patiently enduring the “diva-tude,” as I like to call it (deep sigh) I showed her mommy’s demonstration of authority.
Discipline is a two-sided concept. You pray that you do not portray hippocracy and it hurts a little bit being the bad guy, but it is necessary, and in the end, if you do it appropriately, they’ll thank you for it. I placed her in timeout and braced myself for the almighty wrath of “The Aimslee Grace,” and her ever-so-powerful ( and loud) scream. It’s amusing almost, how such a rebellious, confident, little being, switches almost immediately into the damsel in distress, locked away by the cold-hearted, wicked mother, pleading, desperately for freedom. (They are not only smarter than most people may believe, but much more tricky and way more clever.)
I asserted my position as the authoritative figure, banging my chest triumphantly, and roaring in pride. I made it evidently clear that I…am… mother; queen of this house. ( Just for the record, and to create an accuracy in your mental image, I have only done this (literally) just once or twice. For the most part, I merely imagine myself acting in this manner.)
So, to sum up how the system in my house goes, ( clears throat)..
-Aimslee gets rebellious, steps a little out of the boundaries of “acceptable behavior,”
-throws a fit after being told no,
-enters time-out ( aka baby prison)…
-mommy turns into bad guy, and then, here’s where it gets very interesting. After time out, after the reprimanding and the screaming, Aimslee, right after fleeing the “no no chair” comes over to me, almost every single time, and with tears still clinging to her long, baby-doll eye lashes, she says, with a smile “I love you mommy.”
And this part, is where my heart officially, every time, sinks.
I don’t remember, exactly how the quote went regarding us adults somehow being compared to children, but I do know that despite how angry Aimslee was with me, and despite how “mean” I may have appeared, Aimslee, every time, forgives me. Children, so young, forgive, flawlessly. So perhaps it is not ” see as a child” or “be as a child” but rather, "forgive like a child.”
I think there’s a lot to be learned by merely watching a child- but forgiving as a child, so freely, so perfectly- well it’s a trait all of us adults could benefit from.
My thought process has been awoken and slightly disturbed with an article I just recently read regarding the detrimental effects of fairy tales and overly predictable Disney films designed for our young children. I assure you, I read the article with an open mind, absorbing all of the criticism and outrage in these films leaving our children with the impression that life is glamorous, full of possibility, limitless, and always ending with a troubled prince and a beautiful princess living happily ever after. Hold on….
These films are being ridiculed because they are opening our children’s eyes to possibility? No, certainly not. Let’s try again, these films are being ridiculed because they give the impression that life ends with a happily ever after?
The first thought that comes into my head is “bah humbug,” but I hesitated in typing that because then, the second thought immediately to follow is: “I wonder how my family’s doing Christmas this year?” But that’s besides the point. If bah humbug doesn’t reflect the disgust I’m feeling, or if it reminds you of an old man being haunted by ghosts, then feel free to insert your own “disgust” phrase, whatever it may be.
The truth of the matter is, is that these films do not portray ONLY positive instances in life, why that would be utterly unrealistic ( a word I absolutely despise, but feel is appropriate here.) In all of them, there’s conflict, and in most, devastating conflict. I think the only negative impression this may leave is the time frame it portrays. I mean come on, the producers have roughly two hours to sum up a story;an adventure. Children may possibly get confused when they enter the real world, only to find that their resolution to the such conflict in their lives may take more than 120 minutes to hit the surface. For the most part, however, it teaches 5 valuable lessons:
1.) Even those with the seemingly most glamorous lifestyles endure conflict and stressful circumstances- You can take two different people, with two very different lives, and both experience an inner conflict that ultimately leads them to an external conflict. Take Ariel and Jasmine for example. From afar, both princesses seem to have everything a little girl could envy. They have royalty, a loving family and friends, but yet both are still unsatisfied and seem untouched by their worldly possessions. This teaches us that happiness does not come from the golds in our pockets, but rather from inside. We cannot truly experience happiness until we follow our passions; our hearts.
2.) Where you begin is not necessarily where you must end- This teaches our children possibility.The best story to reflect this is no other than Cinderella. Dressed in rags and at service to her family, Cinderella, from the outside, seemed only destined for a long life of enslavement. But if you know the story, which you must, Cinderella rises above such miserable torment and becomes of elite status; royalty, all the while maintaining her poise. Dare you tell me that this picture is unrealistic to the real life in which we all have the opportunity to experience. Rags to riches stories are written every second of every day. Possibility- what a fabulous concept to implant into our children.
3.) Looks do not “make” a person- In Beauty and the Beast, Bell falls in love with, what she first proclaims to be ” a monster,” only to find that his heart, encapsulated in anger and resentment, is at the core, genuinely kind. Bell, the beauty of the story, sees past the hairy flesh of this creature, only to recognize and adore the soul within it.
4.) Stepping out of our comfort zone can lead to marvelous things- Yes, OK, I know what you’re thinking. When Jasmine mustered up the courage to jump over the palace walls, she was introduced to an adventure full of adversity and challenge. When Ariel decided to leave her home to seek out the Prince, she fell into a wicked witch’s trap and lost her voice. It seems as though, it would have been much better maintaining the mundane, unsatisfied, status both princesses endured. They may have still been “craving” an adventure, but both would have been comfortably safe. Here’s the thing, it takes courage, and there’s bound to be challenges and trials awaiting your “jump,” but fleeing your box, is the only way happily ever afters are created. Both would have never met their “true loves,” and both would have never been living their dreams. Cinderella, if she would have told the fairy god mother “ eh, that sounds good and all, but the ball is a little outside of my comfort zone," she would have forever been dressed in rags and drenched in misery. Courage, what a valuable lesson.
and last but certainly not least…..
5.) They teach us about life- They teach us that there are people in this world that will bestow horrible behavior upon us, in which we need to watch our backs. They teach us that love is real, valuable, and one of the if not THE most important thing this world has to offer. They teach us that conflict WILL arise, despite our status, but with courage we can face and conquer anything. They teach us hope.They teach us family dynamics. They teach us that a good heart is much more powerful than a cold, wicked one.
And more than anything, they teach us that this life is an adventure and should be viewed precisely as that. That we are our own characters in our own tales, and with courage, we can create the fairy tale we so desire.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe my daughter and I are going to go watch some wildly “unrealistic” Disney Fairy tale :)
♥ Let’s face it, being a full time mommy or daddy, while working, while working on your own personal goals and ambitions, well… there aren’t enough hours in a day it seems. One of the BIGGEST challenges, which I absolutely hate to admit it, is setting aside QUALITY time ( key word “quality”)… for your kids. Keeping an active and ambitious mentality is necessary, but where does the “raising the child” fall under priorities? I think this is a challenge every parent faces, despite how simple the concept sounds. Taking a break to play legos or dress up, may not seem productive to the overworked brain, but the long term of effects of silencing that black berry to play with your toddler, is undeniably the most important part of your day.
Even if you need to “schedule” your play time in, make sure you spend that quality time with the most important person(s) in your life… because while that short period of time may seem ineffective to you… to them, why… it’s their favorite part of the day.♥ Do YOU have any challenges with this? If so, what helps you to manage your time more efficiently as a parent?
After we had opened the mailbox to a couple glasses of milk, we decided to turn the mailbox, implanted in the side of the steps of the pool, into an oven. The magical thing about this oven was that it only produced moldy cake, and rotten juice. We never got enough, however. In fact, we found it’s dysfunction amusing. And each time we pulled something out of the oven, we were satisfied to find something new. It truly was an adventure, and for a mere thirty minutes, I was indulged in the fantasy world of a two year old.
I couldn’t help but think, throughout our tastings, how simple this world was. How vivid the colors were and how bitter the rotten juice tasted. Though it was, obviously , a world within our imagination, neither of us acknowledged this, and neither of us cared.
This world hadn’t any boundaries.
The biggest distinction between the world in which we baked in and the one in which we lived in, is simply that the one in which we baked, we created. We merely thought of something, and it existed right before our eyes. We wanted to be somebody, of some status, and we were.
Incredible it was, how quickly my stresses removed themselves from my shoulders. Work, was at work, and all other problems I was enduring, were precisely where they belonged. For this simple half an hour, I was the happiest I had been in a long time. Was it because I was spending time with my child? Of course, but the feeling of possibility was utterly refreshing, and I must credit the world in which we were building.
The moral of this post, if you were searching for it, is simply that we shouldn’t be afraid to create with our imagination, for the mere fact, that our lives, at one point, were built upon it.
We were creators.
May you remember to dream big…… because……. you used to.
1. I look horrible today. —(Feel free to replace “horrible” with the following: fat, gross, tired, scary, ugly, not good, totally horrifying, as if the zombie apocalypses had already begun.)
2. I will never be able to do that.— Keep that mindset and you’re absolutely right.
3. We can’t afford that.— Try instead, “How can we afford that?” Promote creativity within your home.
4. Maybe some day.—FYI some day’s don’t exist. Practice setting goals and encouraging your children to do the same. Of course your mind isn’t going to work for you if you don’t give it a time to work within.
5. The sky’s the limit!—Wrong, we’ve been to the moon. Think bigger… always.
6. I’ll finish that later— Let’s stop the fad of procrastination today, by ending it with our generation. Thomas Jefferson, yes THE Thomas Jefferson once said “Never put off tomorrow what you can do today.”
7. That’s impossible— So was a light bulb back in the 1800’s but that didn’t stop Thomas Edison from inventing one. Do not cap your child’s imagination by cutting your own short. They will see it, and they will imitate it.
8. I hate — Let’s stop the whole “hating” fad too, while we’re at it. The world has enough viciousness as it sits.
9.I’m not good enough— Never underestimate the power of determination, courage, and focus. Let me tell you something I’ve learned the hard way, when you want something bad enough and you’re willing to put forth the effort in achieving it, nothing…. and I mean nothing, is too outside of your capabilities.
10. I can’t— This is probably the worst out of all of them. Just hearing the word “can’t” makes me shudder. Confucius said, probably one of the most intelligent things I have yet to hear, “he who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right.”
There you have it folks, the top ten things I believe should never be said around your children. Of course, I also believe these things should never be said period, no matter your age, and no matter if you have children or not.
Our babies are living sponges, constantly soaking up everything they see, hear, and experience. We are literally molding their minds, sculpting them into the person they will inevitably become.Every car ride home, every dinner time, and every bath time at night is a learning experience for our children.
And all of the nonchalant words that may flow out of your mouth, flow directly into their heads and hearts, and there it stays, no matter your intention or your emotion at the time of the word being said. Let’s start today and empower these children, teach them positivity, and sharpen their creativity.
We start, firstly, with ourselves.